For Men:
- Don't post a picture of your body without your face. That says you're hiding something or you think I'm as shallow as you are.
- Don't post a picture with you and another woman. I don't care if you try to cut them out or not--I can tell. I also don't care if it's your sister. I don't know that and won't read far enough to find that out. It makes you look like a player and even for women shopping for flings, they don't want competition.
- Don't write about your long lost love in your profile--even if she's dead. Again, women don't want competition. They are insecure enough already. You may think it shows you are capable of true love and committment but it actually makes us feel as though we're second best and we'll never live up to your expectations.
- Don't send your first contact with some raunchy line that you wouldn't walk up to a stranger and say. I know some people are just raunchy in any venue, but most wouldn't meet someone new and tell them they are drug and disease free or tell them they like long foreplay. It doesn't belong in the first IM or email of introduction either. Internet dating feels sleezy enough without your help.
- Don't take a month to answer an email. It looks as though you are working on other options and only replied when those fell through. By the time you answer, I have moved on several times.
- Don't tell me your favorite movie was Message in a Bottle or The Notebook. I know that's bull and you look silly trying to put forth a sensitive facade. It is especially a turnoff to me, because I didn't see Message in a Bottle and I thought The Notebook was ridiculously sappy.
- Don't treat me like a child or tell me you want to "mentor" me. I've made it through life okay this far without you and I don't like being treated like I'm mentally challenged.
For Women: (opinions provided by a male friend who is on a dating website)
- Don't post pictures of yourself hanging upside down, pole dancing or wearing clothes you wouldn't be seen outdoors in. It makes you look shallow, cheap, desperate and available to anyone who answers the ad. Even a man looking just for sex wants to feel as though he's accomplished something by getting it. You are ruining the challenge and he can just seek out a prostitute. Men will look at these pictures, but no quality man will contact you.
- Don't ask for money. Some men might give it to you but only if they think it's their idea. It's the sense of accomplishment thing again.
- Don't say you like to watch sports on TV if you don't. Not all men want that in a woman and few expect it. It looks forced and phoney.
- Don't act stupid if you're not. Contrary to popular opinion, men aren't looking for empty headed women. There are enough differences in the sexes that both have something to offer each other and most want a partner that is an equal.
- Don't act interested if you're not. When a gorgeous 25 year old is pawing all over a 55 year old paunchy bald guy, even he looks for the motive.
- If you see something you like, say so. Don't wait to see if they notice you. Men are very flattered by the first contact, even if the sentiment isn't returned.
- Don't email stalk them if they don't respond. Some just don't know how to handle saying, "no thanks". Women are used to it, but most men haven't had enough experience to be comfortable with being approached first and just avoid contact if they aren't interested. Email is like ping pong and you don't get two turns.
- Be patient. You may not get a timely response to your contact because their mother died or they've had their internet access turned off for failure to pay. (If it's the latter, you've lost nothing!) They may be trying to reply, wearing out the spell checker and struggling to phrase things correctly to you. Or they may just not be interested. Only time will tell.
In closing there are a few things that apply to everybody~> Be honest, be safe and be single.
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